Day 2 - I’ll Be Home for Christmas...I Hope

Ya know…rain makes a very distinctive sound against a tent. Yep, it’s 4 am and I’m awakened by the pitter patter of light rain against the tent. “Well, at least it’s light rain.”, I think to myself as I drift back to sleep. But then, here comes the rain in full force…seems that first little bit was just to get our attention. Ok, so I’m now layin in the tent doin the get-home-before-dark math to determine just how long I can put off packin up everything in the rain…and still make it home before nightfall. I’m also thinkin how the missus told me on the phone last eve ‘bout a winter front movin our way from the west…and how I hoped I could make it thru the mountains runnin along the TN/NC border before that stuff hit, and stranded me in a frozen mess.

I finally drag myself outta the tent, and start pickin up camp…glad to see I didn’t leave anything of import out in the rain the night before. Did I mention the beer? hehheh Luckily enough, the bath house that the Park’s web site said was closed for the season, was actually open…and we took our bedding and other gear into the dry to roll up and pack away for the ride home. It was durin our packin chores that my buds informed me I was not the ideal camper with which to share a tent…sumthin ‘bout snorin ‘n fartin ‘n umpteen piss trips ‘n a cow pissin on a flat rock outside the tent…whatever that means. I didn’t see any cows. Hey, when Muthuh came up with the brilliant idea of sharin a tent, I told him ‘bout my propensity of fumigatin my sleepin quarters…and my piss trips…but hey, I DON’T snore. Well, that’s my story, and I’m stickin to it.

A quick call home, and the missus informs me that the afore mentioned winter front is currently in Nashville and the Cumberland Plateau…a mere 80-90 miles from the house, longitudedly speakin…and is headin our way. I ask her what time it’s expected to hit the house, and she tells me not til nightfall. So, I tell her I’ll see her in a few hours, bid my buds farewell, and hit the road. Knowin that the lull in the rain we were currently enjoyin was most likely temporary, I decided to start out in full rain gear…includin a pair of Rain-Off overgloves I had recently purchased. This was a very fortunate decision, as I hit some pretty heavy stuff just a couple miles up the road. I am happy to report that my new overgloves kept my hands bone dry…and subsequently, very toasty. Check ‘em out at their web site...http://www.rain-off.com...they’ re worth every penny!

Anyways, I’m not the least bit happy ‘bout the rain…but with Mother Nature, ya gets what ya gets. It’s on-again/off-again type stuff, and seems to be gettin lighter…soooo, I’m thinkin I can ride all day in this stuff if it just stays like this. Well, I ride thru ‘bout 70 miles of those conditions to the interstate, and that’s where it hits…a freakin monsoon! After ‘bout ten miles on I-40, I get off at an exit to gas up and do something ‘bout my glasses…cleanin ‘em with a little liquid detergent usually keeps ‘em from foggin up too bad. While I’m there, I give the missus a call…and she tells me there’s some nasty stuff headin my way…and I tell her I’ve already found it. She also tells me that Nashville is already freezin, and those temps are headin east…right into my path. So, I jump back on the scoot, and hit the superslab in the pourin rain…haulin ass tryin to make it over the mountains before they freeze up and trap my ass on the wrong side of the Smokies for Christmas.

Now, I don’t know if it was devine intervention, or plain old fashioned Christmas spirit…which I guess is one ‘n the same, huh…but the cagers seemed to be goin outta their way to make life just a wee bit more pleasant for me in these miserable conditions. As I was once again mergin back onto I-40, I actually had a car slow down and flash his lights to let me merge in with the traffic. I waved a heart-felt thank you, and twisted the wick to a setting of ‘bout 75 mph. All I could think was I gotta get thru the mountains before the cold front hits…gotta get thru the mountains. Almost as if denyin my wishes, the rain poured it on even harder…but I didn’t faulter, and kept pourin on the coal in my attempt to get thru the mountains. I’m thinkin to myself, “I can’t stop for anything but gas if I’m gonna make it.” But, the rain was gettin so hard it was gettin difficult to imagine makin it home in such a timely fashion. For what some folks might think counter-intuitive, I’m now holdin my head above my windshield in an attempt to let the wind keep some of the water cleared from my glasses…but now the water is runnin down inside my glasses and into my eyes. Yep, I’ve reached the point of full saturation, as I now feel a little water tricklin its way down the front of my jacket. In some conditions, ya just can’t seal yerself up good enough to keep it all out.

I’m now ‘nuther 60 miles closer to home, and on the verge of decidin I’ll have to stop for a while when, like the biblical partin of the seas, the clouds part and give way to some of the prettiest blue skies ya ever did see! Ahhhhh, this is more like it! However, previous experience tells me the mountains will probably not be quite so friendly…so, I don’t let up any and continue to push on towards the house. ‘Nuther fifty miles up the highway, and I start my ascent up Black Mountain. I’m thinkin when I top this big hill, I’ll probably see more bad weather…mebbe even be able to see it snowin on up past Asheville. But noooooo…I top the hill and actually see more sunshine…and feel the temps gettin significantly warmer. It’s the first time I start believin I’ll make it thru the mountains. I pass Asheville, and it’s even sunnier and warmer…60 degrees accordin to the road conditions sign suspended over the interstate. Seems all my worryin ‘bout freezin mountain conditions has been for naught…but ya can never trust the mountains…they’ve smacked me ‘round more than once in the past.

It’s now been ‘bout a hunnert ‘n forty miles since my last fill-up so I stop in Canton, NC…and probably look quite retarded still bundled up in full winter ‘n rain gear as the locals are gassin up in shorts ‘n sandals. One fellow stopped by the bike and asked which way I was headed. When I informed him I was ‘bout to cross the next range west, he told me I would have clear sailin with regard to the rain…clear all the way across the mountains…but to watch out for the wind…it was gettin perilous up top. He wished me safe travels…I thanked him for the info…and I was back on the road. I knew the mountains could play some nasty tricks with cold fronts, and I wasn’t relaxin one li’l bit til I was on the other side. Wish I knew the fella that advised me ‘bout the wind…it’s always good to know folks that know what they’re talkin ‘bout…’cause wind is ‘zactly what I got as I ascended into the hills…at times, feelin like it was gonna blow me off the road. Wouldn’t have been so bad, ‘cept this was hittin in what I estimated to be 30-40 mph gusts…which means ya have to be on guard all the time, or possibly find yerself off in a ditch ‘round the next curve. Just ask Muthuh ‘bout one of his trips out in the Colorado Rockies I think it was.

Anyways, as I topped the mountains and headed down the other side, the skies turned gray and the temps plummeted. I twisted the wick a little more…hung the curves a little harder…and made it to the bottom and outta the gorge before Old Man Winter could fully bite my ass. I eventually rode back under blue skies, but the cold temps and wind stuck with me the rest of the way to the house. I was indeed cold and tired as I rolled into my garage, and was greeted enthusiastically by my wife and son, as they had been real worried ‘bout what I would encounter in the mountains. As it turned out, it did turn off pretty cold at the house, but we never saw the nasty stuff they had been predicting. As for the mountains I passed thru? I don’t know if they turned into the frozen mess I had feared most of the day…and I didn’t care…I was home for Christmas, and that was all I needed to know.

‘Til next time...to All a Good Night.

TJ